Second Try
by the Divine Nataku
Summary: AU I will track him down no matter what it takes. I don’t care what dark alleys I have to crawl through to find him. I will not allow him to sully my family’s honor. The Kamiya name… I will find this man…this Hitokiri Battōsai… even if it kills me.


Author's Notes - Hello, all! How's it shaking? I know I've been gone awhile, but rest assured that I haven't stopped writing!

Miss Chang Po - Oh, that's good. Where's that next chapter of "Don't you Dare!"::looks around: Ara... where'd she go?

:hiding under her desk: Anywho... like I was saying... I've been sitting on this one a while, and I decided to post it now just to see what kind of feedback it would get. Just so you know, it's VERY AU - nonetheless, I think it'll be interesting. It's certainly been fun to write.

Miss Chang Po - Hey! Don't think I don't see you hiding under there! Stop being such a bum and get back to work on what you've already got posted!

:sticks out her tongue: You're one to talk, Miss I've Started 2 new Naruto fics and haven't worked a lick on any of my old stuff::grins at her embarrassed expression: Have fun reading, minna-san!

Begun December 28th, 2004 (Wow, that was a while ago…)

**_Second Try_**

… _I was just a young girl and he a traveler just coming into the city. He didn't seem that much older than me, and yet he walked with such an air of certainty and self-assurance far beyond his year. Because of this it was no wonder that he had already managed to attract the attention of a few women passing by on the street. Well… not me, of course… I was too young then to really pay attention to such things…_

_It often times seems like it was so long ago that our paths crossed. However, thinking back I can remember clearly the first time we met. To me, it seemed like any other regular occurrence – Tokyo was a very populated city; I think it's safe it's possible to meet someone new every day._

However, looking back he was very handsome.

_He didn't say much to me – after all, what do you say to a young girl dressed like a boy with a shinai strapped to her back? – he merely asked me to show him where the nearest affordable inn was located and I politely obliged. Of course, afterwards, I also recommended he stop by the Akabeko in case he was hungry._

Tae-san in later years would start to comment on how I was an ideal spokesperson for the restaurant seeing as I seemed to frequent it regularly

_He thanked me for the information, and after that we parted ways. I didn't expect to ever see him again; but really, who ever expects chance encounters to be more than that?_

_I merely watched as he disappeared into the crowd once again, never giving him a second thought._

(Besides, who was to know that by meeting him I was changing my life forever?)

oo

…_A fight broke out in the dōjo today. Hiruma Gohei, a student unsatisfied with the teachings of _Kamiya Kasshin Ryû_ and _Katsujin-ken,_ had smuggled in an actual sword into the building. Chichiue had been away on errands at the time, allowing him free reign to use the not only dangerous, but also illegal, weapon to attack the other students. _

_No matter the situation, I cannot stand by and allow people to be harmed – I still believe this. Of course you realize that even though I am still a child I stood up to him and challenged him to a duel. He accepted – I think he had some sick, perverted infatuation for me… I'd never felt comfortable around him – and we faced off. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but apparently the fighting had attracted attention from people on the street, and somehow _he _had appeared._

_I don't know what attack he used – I was not familiar with the style - or how he was able to bring down a man as large as Hiruma-san, but somehow he managed it._

_Using a bokken no less._

_Chichiue returned soon afterwards, followed by the police who escorted Hiruma-san away. Not only had he attacked and injured many of the other students, but he had violated the Sword-ban as well. This was a punishable offense under the new Meiji law. _

_Chichiue had been upset to find out that I had challenged someone infinitely stronger than myself, but the young traveler explained to him my reasoning and asked him not to punish me. (I was infinitely grateful for this – Chichiue's punishments are terribly strict.) He pondered this a moment and then turned to the young stranger, asking him what had brought him to our dōjo. That wonderful young stranger responded by saying he had merely wanted to thank me; the food at the Akabeko had been very good._

Tae-san would have been very pleased

_To repay his act, Chichiue invited him to stay with us until he situated himself here in Tokyo. He agreed._

_I remember walking over to him, tugging shyly on his gi. I'm normally not so bold with strangers but there's just something about him that just drew me to him. "My name's Kaoru…"_

_He blinked for a moment before giving me a smile that I would soon learn to cherish. "Nice to meet you, Kaoru-san…"_

_I merely looked to Chichiue before smiling back, leading him towards our home._

It's strange… all the while, never once did it occur to me that we would walk this road together many times, one day as husband and wife

_oo_

…_The young traveler remains with us here at the dōjo. Since he is often very quiet and rarely social with the other people his age, the two of us spend most of our time together. He has even become a student of _Kamiya Kasshin Ryû – _the two of us are often sparring partners. I certainly don't mind the attention he seems to lavish on only me, but often times I am led to wonder why the other students are often afraid to take either of us on…I first assumed it was because I was the young daughter of their sensei, but my taciturn Sempai always says it was because I am better than them._

_Well… that _may _be true, but there has to be some other reason. _

_Nevertheless, I love spending time with him, and he seems to be at ease in my company – like I said before, he seems older than his years and those who should have been his peers seem to do nothing more than irritate him. Or maybe there is something else that eats at him and holds him back. There have been many times when he seems to be troubled by something and the mere act of my sitting by him will put his mind at ease. _

_Of course, he is even guarded around me sometimes. I have to admit he never talks much – I talk to him, perhaps too much, but when I see that he's troubled, he will never say what it is that bothers him so. I hardly know anything about his past other than the fact that his family died during the Revolution, and that before coming to us he had traveled around learning various sword techniques to have a sense of purpose. So even though there is a lot I didn't know about him, I have resolved not to let it bother me. _

_Chichiue is mostly responsible for this I suppose. Hahaue died when I was very young, leaving Chichiue, who was a very smart man, to raise me and teach me about life. He is very strict sometimes, but I love him anyways. I remember how he always said that it wasn't a person's past that shaped them, but how they lived in the present that really mattered. _

_So, for this reason, I decided that I would trust our new family member no matter what._

"_You trust people too easily," my Sempai told me once. I countered with Chichiue's logic and he laughed a little – not mocking, he never made fun of me – more amused than anything else. "I could be a terrible demon in disguise, Kaoru-san…"_

_It wasn't possible. Aside from Chichiue, Sempai is the only one who doesn't frown on my practicing kendo. People thought less of me and looked down on me because I didn't behave the way they felt a young girl should behave. But he didn't care; he told me that in his eyes it didn't matter how I behaved so long as I remained Kaoru. _

_Because of this fact, he is someone very important to me._

_I remember the way he looked surprised as I told him this. Then, he smiled that same smile of his._

"_Why should your practicing swordsmanship bother me, Kaoru-san?" _

_One of the other student's mothers had seen me walking through town in my workout clothes, saying that I'd never find myself a decent husband. Before, such a comment would not have bothered me. Even then, I was confident in the fact that I could get along just fine without a husband – I could be free to live my life as I saw fit. However, I was at an age were most girls were getting married off – did I really want to dishonor my family and live out the rest of my life alone?_

_Nevertheless, not soon after hearing her comment I found myself at the feet of my Sempai, trying not to cry and failing miserably._

"_You have your father, Kaoru-san," he replied quietly patting my head to ease away my worries as he usually did. However, to my surprise his hand ventured downwards to my cheek, resting against it, tenderly wiping away my remaining tear. "And you have me."_

_I nodded at this, too stunned at his admission to comment. There was a warmth in me that I had never felt before. I guess I wasn't sure what to make of it. _

"_I'm different from everyone else, Kaoru-san," There was a sadness to his tone that rose me out of my stupor. However, once I directed my worried gaze towards him as he closed his eyes with small, if not somewhat forced smile. "I don't think anyone will ever understand my pain."_

_Pain? Someone had dared to harm my Sempai? On behalf of the Kamiya Kasshin_ _Ryû I would make sure they would answer for their crimes! _

"_Which makes me glad," His smile became more genuine as he gazed back at me. "That I was able to meet you."_

"_I am glad that you're glad, Sempai," I told him._

_He chuckled, studying me a moment. His smile was still present, but there was something in his eyes that I had never seen before. "How could anyone ever think you unworthy just because you are strong?"_

_I blushed, glancing away. "I'm strong when it comes to swordsmanship, I guess…" I said. "But I would not make a very good wife."_

"_I don't believe that," His hands cupped my face, turning me back towards him. "I would make you my wife in a heartbeat… Kaoru-san."_

_He asked for my hand in marriage right after that. I agreed instantly, though now I'm not sure why. There is no doubt that I cared for him very much. Though when I think of it now, I suppose it was mostly because despite my strong will, deep down I did not want to be left alone. _

_I believe he did not want to be left alone either._

_Nevertheless, Sempai approached Chichiue and he happily consented to the arrangement. After a few seemingly short months of courtship we were married. No longer were we merely Sempai and Kaoru-san, we were now husband and wife. Granted, he, Chichiue, and I continued on the way things had always been. You might think it an awkward arrangement, but the three of us were happy enough together, I think. _

_I had two people that cared about me and I didn't have to fear being alone. It's almost funny to think how Fate should decide to take them away from me._

oo

…_Before Hahaue died, Chichiue had been a swordsman in the military. After the Revolution, he retired to teach his style of swordsmanship in attempts to instill a sense of honor and value in future generations. _

_However, with the eruption of the _Seinan Wars_, Chichiue was called to action again. No matter how much I begged and pleaded, he refused to be deterred. He bid us goodbye, promising to return as soon as the fighting had ended._

_Three months passed before we received notice of his death on the battlefield. I was forced to face the harsh knowledge that I would never see him again._

_oo_

…_He has distanced himself from me. Or maybe I distanced myself from him - whether it was because I am grieving or for some other reason, I cannot be sure. All that matters is that somewhere along the way the two of us have become strangers. Being that Chichiue had left the dōjo to me, the assistant master of _Kamiya Kasshin Ryû, _I suppose my husband has resolved to spend most of his time on the merchant job he has recently acquired. We earn enough money teaching lessons to students, but he has always insisted that it never hurts to have a little extra income just in case. _

"_We want our children to be well taken care of, don't we?" he had said once._

_I'm not sure of how to respond to this. I worry we will continue to drift apart after spending so little time in the dōjo together. Of course, he always assures me every time that nothing will ever change between us._

_Business is profiting and he immerses himself deeper into his work. He is away for weeks at a time, working in Yokohama, or even the occasional trip to Kyoto. A few months ago he stopped training with me, choosing to spend more and more time away from the dōjo overseeing the delivery of shipments. I've never complained however, to combat the grief of my father's passing I immersed myself deeper into my swordsmanship – determined to not let my father's principles die._

_He came to me one night after dinner, apologizing for his behavior, his standoffish-ness. I told him I had been too preoccupied to let it bother me._

_He gave me that smile, that same one I have missed so much. "You've never been a good liar, Kaoru."_

_He'd never dropped the -_san_ before, causing me to focus my attention on him._

"_I have to apologize to you, Kaoru…" He stared down at his hands. I'd always admired his hands; they were so strong. "I have not been a very good husband for you."_

"_That's not true," I told him, though I could not muster up any of the vehemence I had intended to put behind my words. "You've taken very good care of me – you've let me continue teaching Kamiya Kasshin ryû to my students."_

"_I would never try to prevent you from teaching," he replied softly. "Even if I had wanted to I would never be able to. I see the way your spirit lights up when you are with your students… to try to take that from you…" He shook his head to purge the thought. "Any man that would try to change who you are is not fit to be in your presence."_

"_Sempai…" I breathed._

_His smile took on a sad sort of wistfulness. "Even after all this time you still call me 'Sempai'?" He chuckled at the contrite expression on my face. "It isn't your fault," he said, placing a finger to my lips when I sought to object. "I've never given you any reason to call me anything different… I've just always been your _Sempai_…" _

_He smiled down at me again, his finger leaving my lips to trail up my cheek, cupping it in his open palm. It felt… wonderful… "But now," There was something in his eye that I'd never seen before; a primal thing, something that frightened and excited me at the same time. "I want to be the husband I should be…"_

_I looked up at him, mimicking his action with my own hand. He closed his eyes and leaned against my hand and I smiled at the affect my touch could have on him. "Yes…" I breathed. "Anata…"_

_It would be the first time we had actually behaved as husband and wife._

It would also be the last…

_oo_

…_Anata's business has called him away from home again. Apparently shipments had been lost during the last journey, and he wanted to accompany the next to assure no mishaps occurred. I was concerned about him, of course – there'd been talks of pirates intercepting merchant ships, but I've kept such thoughts to myself. My husband is the strongest person I know. With the _Kamiya Kasshin Ryû _and his own amalgamated style at his disposal, surely there's no one who can harm him. His shipment will be delivered safely and he will return to me._

_Before leaving he said he would be retiring from the shipping business to resume teaching in the dōjo with me. I told him I didn't want him to quit if his business makes him happy._

_The strangest look passed over his face then; it made him seem like someone else – it was bit frightening. He then shook his head and said, "It's only a business," He paused, running a hand through my hair. "Being with you is what makes me happy."_

_I stood at the pier as his ship set sail, waving to him until I could no longer see his face. _

_I know he will come back to me. Semp—Anata has never broken a promise to me. He will return, and we will go back to the way things used to be._

_We will be together and I will never have to grieve the loss of someone important to me ever again._

_oo_

…_I have been told by the Port Authorities that his ship had been lost at sea. A terrible storm ravaged the boat, causing it to capsize. The cargo has been lost. After three months they are certain that there are no survivors. _

_My anata is gone._

_There is no time to grieve however… There has been an increasing amount of brutal slayings in and surrounding Tokyo. An evil, twisted man who eviscerates his victims, slaughters Police officers and then vanishes back into the dark._

_His methods are ghastly. He shows no mercy. He says he hails from our dōjo, he says he uses _Kamiya Kasshin Ryû…

_Our ryû…_

_My ryû…_

Katsujin-ken_… used to kill innocent people… all for the thrill of spilling blood? It cannot be, and yet people believe it. Chichue would not allow this to go on. Semp—Anata would not allow this to go on. Therefore,_ I_ cannot allow this to go on…_

_I will find this man. I will_ _track him down no matter what it takes. I don't care what dark alleys I have to crawl through to find him. I will not allow him to sully my family's honor._

_The Kamiya name…_

_I will find this man…this _Hitokiri Battōsai_… even if it kills me._

Excerpts from the diary of one Kamiya Kaoru, 5th to 10th year of Meiji

End Chapter


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